it seemed funny at the time

earlier today...

gayfirestudavatar: it is sex and laundry day today.
Moi: what's sex?
gayfirestudavatar: when 2 or 3 men love each other very very very much.....
gayfirestudavatar: and they decide they want to have a baby.
gayfirestudavatar: now they remember from when they were in school that a man sticks his wee-wee in a private part of a woman to make a baby.
gayfirestudavatar: so they stick their wee-wees in all kinds of private parts of each other.


When pretty boys and disco

I spent the better part of last night, after fleeing a straight girl chewing on my neck (no, really!) - at my local bar. My local GAY bar. Where I mooned over the 23year old I've been crushing on. Very very cute, this one. Also very 23. When I first met him, he came across as something more, but I have to remember, even when he puts his head on my lap, that that static still is worth minding. Damn it. Plus I got the goss from his friend that he does the "I'm not date-able" thing, yet does all the breaking up after 3 weeks. God, I thought I'd copyrighted that.

Of course, there's the slightly-more-fey-than-I-usually-like guy who makes eyes at me. He's kinda fine too. Warning sign there? His best friend I don't like so much. And often the friends are too revealing a judge of character.

Le sigh. So where's the next prince charming?


An important electoral message.

Sure, he's the nimrod who campaigned for Nader in 2000 and made George W what he is today (well, him and the Supreme Court). BUT, he makes a good point.... spread this around.

Dear Friends,
Enough of the handwringing! Enough of the doomsaying! Do I have to come there and personally calm you down? Stop with all the defeatism, OK? Bush IS a goner -- IF we all just quit our whining and bellyaching and stop shaking like a bunch of nervous ninnies. Geez, this is embarrassing! The Republicans
are laughing at us. Do you ever see them cry, "Oh, it's all over! We are finished! Bush can't win! Waaaaaa!"

Hell no. It's never over for them until the last ballot is shredded. They are never finished -- they just keeping moving forward like sharks that never sleep, always pushing, pulling, kicking, blocking, lying.
They are relentless and that is why we secretly admire them -- they just simply never, ever give up. Only 30% of the country calls itself "Republican," yet the Republicans own it all -- the White House, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court and the majority of the governorships. How do you think they've been able to pull that off considering they are a minority? It's because they eat you and me and every other liberal for breakfast and then spend the rest of the day wreaking havoc on the planet.

Look at us -- what a bunch of crybabies. Bush gets a bounce after his convention and you would have thought the Germans had run through Poland again. The Bushies are coming, the Bushies are coming! Yes, they caught Kerry asleep on the Swift Boat thing. Yes, they found the frequency in Dan Rather and ran with it. Suddenly it's like, "THE END IS NEAR! THE SKY IS FALLING!" No, it is not. If I hear one more person tell me how lousy a candidate Kerry is and how he can't win... Dammit, of COURSE he's a lousy candidate -- he's a Democrat, for heavens sake! That party is so pathetic, they even lose the elections they win! What were you expecting, Bruce Springsteen heading up the ticket? Bruce would make a helluva president, but guys like him don't run -- and neither do you or I. People like Kerry run.

Yes, OF COURSE any of us would have run a better, smarter, kick-ass campaign. Of course we would have smacked each and every one of those phony swifty boaty bastards down. But WE are not running for president --Kerry is. So quit complaining and work with what we have. Oprah just gave 300 women a... Pontiac! Did you see any of them frowning and moaning and screaming, "Oh God, NOT a friggin' Pontiac!" Of course not, they were happy. The Pontiacs all had four wheels, an engine and a gas pedal. You want more than that, well, I can't help you. I had a Pontiac once and it lasted a good year. And it was a VERY good year.

My friends, it is time for a reality check.
1. The polls are wrong. They are all over the map like diarrhea. On Friday,one poll had Bush 13 points ahead -- and another poll had them both tied. There are three reasons why the polls are b.s.: One, they are polling "likely voters." "Likely" means those who have consistently voted in the past few elections. So that cuts out young people who are voting for the first time and a ton of non-voters who are definitely going to vote in THIS election. Second, they are not polling people who use their cell phone as their primary phone. Again, that means they are not talking to young people. Finally, most of the polls are weighted with too many Republicans, as pollster John Zogby revealed last week.

You are being snookered if you believe any of these polls.

2. Kerry has brought in the Clinton A-team. Instead of shunning Clinton (as Gore did), Kerry has decided to not make that mistake. 3. Traveling around the country, as I've been doing, I gotta tell ya, there is a hell of a lot of unrest out there. Much of it is not being captured by the mainstream press. But it is simmering and it is real. Do not let those well-produced Bush rallies of angry white people scare you. Turn off theTV! (Except Jon Stewart and Bill Moyers -- everything else is just a sugar-coated lie).

4. Conventional wisdom says if the election is decided on "9/11" (the fear of terrorism), Bush wins. But if it is decided on the job we are doing in Iraq, then Bush loses. And folks, that "job," you might have noticed, has descended into the third level of a hell we used to call Vietnam. There is no way out. It is a full-blown mess of a quagmire and the body bags will sadly only mount higher. Regardless of what Kerry meant by his original war vote, he ain't the one who sent those kids to their deaths -- and Mr. and Mrs. Middle America knows it. Had Bush bothered to show up when he was in the "service" he might have somewhat of a clue as to how to recognize an immoral war that cannot be "won." All he has delivered to Iraq was that plasticized turkey last Thanksgiving. It is this failure of monumental proportions that is going to cook his goose come this November.
So, do not despair. All is not over. Far from it. The Bush people need you to believe that it is over. They need you to slump back into your easy chair and feel that sick pain in your gut as you contemplate another four years of George W. Bush. They need you to wish we had a candidate who didn't windsurf and who was just as smart as we were when WE knew Bush was lying about WMD and Saddam planning 9/11. It's like Karl Rove is hypnotizing you --"Kerry voted for the war...Kerry voted for the war...Kerrrrrryyy vooootted fooooor theeee warrrrrrrrrr..."
Yes...Yes...Yesssss....He did! HE DID! No sense in fighting now...what I need is sleep...sleeep...sleeeeeeppppp...

WAKE UP! The majority are with us! More than half of all Americans are pro-choice, want stronger environmental laws, are appalled that assaultweapons are back on the street -- and 54% now believe the war is wrong. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO CONVINCE THEM OF ANY OF THIS -- YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE THEM A RAY OF HOPE AND A RIDE TO THE POLLS. CAN YOU DO THAT? WILL YOU DO THAT?

Just for me, please? Buck up. The country is almost back in our hands. Not another negative word until Nov. 3rd! Then you can bitch all you want about how you wish Kerry was still that long-haired kid who once had the courage to stand up for something. Personally, I think that kid is still inside him. Instead of the wailing and gnashing of your teeth, why not hold out a hand to him and help the inner soldier/protester come out and defeat the forces of evil we now so desperately face. Do we have any other choice?

Michael Moore

(Especial thanks to RuPaul for posting this, which I admittedly stole. so there.)


Go, Molly!

"Sometimes, I get the feeling the whole country is being run by Paris Hilton"


How to ride the New York subway

Stupid passenger tricks


Thoughts in my head

from a cognitive template lifted from Chrisafer:

I can't believe I ran into the music teacher the other night. Sigh. What a dreamy hunka spunk. I want to have his babies.
I've got the drugs and the rock and roll, where's the sex?
Then there's that 23 year old Italian boy from Bensonhurst. Oh my God. I want him to have my babies.
Fucking piano player needs to stop staring if he's not gonna do anything about it.
"Four more years" sounds like a Nazi chant.
Then there's the politico hottie. Damn, there's a lot of cute boys I know right now. I can't complain for pretty faces to look at.
My brain will be goo by this time on Sunday. Hooray for brain goo!
Hooray for Fall Fashion. Can't wait to dig out my sweaters.
But damn, do I ever want to shopping.
Bhutan sounds like such an amazing trip. I wanna go.
Yesssss! (ala Napoleon Dynamite)


Tacky plans reconsidered

“Quite honestly, I was surprised at that,” the mayor said Tuesday.
Are you kidding me? This mayor has honestly been so clueless - which in some ways is worse than the outright, but at least somewhat principled, arrogance and insensitivity we had under "America's Mayor."